The Wrath of Twilight: Random Rants Edition
by MouseyMoi
Summary: So, there is only three chapters in this story. It's not really a story its just three different situations and me and my cousin have made videos to go along with each situation. It's not the best but I haven't put anything up on here in a long time.
1. Billy & Laurent

To see the video for this go here: .com/watch?v=WyzM79jLFIw

(I apologise for the laughter!)

Billy had been woken up with the sound of joyful shrieks coming from outside the house. Laurent had woken up extra early to get to the like for some 'dipping' time! Billy got dressed, sat in his wheelchair and went outside only to find Laurent doing exactly what he had been told not to do.

"Son?"

"Yes, Father?"

"Why are you sitting by the lake with no shoes on?"

Laurent looked at him as if it were obvious what he was doing.

"Because, Father, I am dipping."

Billy didn't like being disobeyed.

"Son, you are not allowed to be dipping. Now get back in the house, do what you are told!"

"I don't want to get back in the house. You never tell Jacob to get back in the house. Why is that, Father?"

"Because, Son...you have dreadlocks. Dreadlocks are the trademark of irresponsability."

"But, Father...but, Father! I don't want to get back in the house."

"But, Son, you must."

Laurent looked around him, trying to find a way to trick Billy into letting him stay out by the river lake. He felt that lately he hadn't been getting enough time to do this so-called 'dipping' ritual he so greatly loved!

"Fine then, but I throw my shoes in the river!"

"Don't throw your shoes in the river, Son! they'll get wet and I can't buy you new shoes. I don't have the money!"

"That is why I am throwing them in the lake."

"Fine then, you can stay out here."

Laurent's face lit up. He resumed his longed for dipping time, turned to his father and said...

"Thank you, father."

"You're welcome, son."

"Bye father."

"Bye son."


	2. Mr Jasper

To see the video for this chapter go here: .com/watch?v=LRXvCa-xy-k

So, Jasper had invited his students to his house to have their lesson there since the school had recently collapsed due to unknown circumstances. They all arrived on time and loved the decor! The lesson was going very swiftly until one of the students informed him that she had left her homework at home. Jasper then asked for everyone else's homework but they all just looked at each other.

"Girls! Give me your homework now!"

Emmett and Carlisle came in wondering what the big fuss was all about. Carlisle interjected.

"It's alright, Jasper. They said they'd give it to you on Monday."

"No! I don't take any crap from anyone! They said they'd give me their homework today! They lied! Why did they lie? They're all foul, dirty liars! I don't want it tomorrow, or the next day, or monday, I want it now"

Jasper's face was turning red and that vein on his forehead was portruding. Emmett and Carlisle had to hold Jasper back as he looked like he was about to kill every last one of his students. Emmett had to say something.

"Listen, Jasper, buddy. Calm down."

"No, Emmett I won't calm down...and since when do you speak with a Texas accent! Nooooo! Give me your homework now!"

Emmett and Carlisle struggled to drag Jasper out of the room but eventually when he was out all the girls broke down into tears and Carlisle signalled for them to all leave.

Jasper was suspended from teaching for five months.


	3. What Happened To My Volvo!

To see the video for this chapter go here: .com/watch#!v=jSVe2ow5K5Y&feature=related

As Edward and Alice were leaving Bella's house he noticed something strange about his Vovlo.

"What the hell happened to my Volvo? Alice! WHat did you do to my Volvo? It was silver, and it was a hatchback and it was an '08 Volvo. What have you done to it!"

Edward noticed that his Volvo had suddenly gone from a silver-hatchback to a black full sized car. He wasn't one bit too impressed and he is blaming it on Alice.

"I didn't do anything to your Volvo, Edward."

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY VOLVO? Did you auction it off? Did you give it away? Did you smash it up? Did you kill it?"

"How could I kill your Volvo, Edward?"

"Because you're an evil, evil, stinky, little girl!"

Alice was getting tired of Edward. He was always acting so spoiled and like any man, he hated change! It was a nice Volvo. No one knows what happened to his old one but the fact that there was a new one sitting there, waiting for him to use it apparently upsetted him!

"Edward!"

"Just shut up and give me my Volvo!"

Charlie had just arrived back from work. As he pulled into the driveway he could see that something was wrong with Edward.

"Hey, guys, calm down."

"Shut it, Char...I mean...erm...Mr. Swan. Haha. Erm...hows it going? Erm, you haven't seen a siver hatchback Volvo lying about have you?"

Charlie raised his eyebrow at Edward and didn't look one bit too happy being told to 'shut it'.

"I take that as a no then. Alright well we gotta go be somewhere that isn't here. Bye, Mr. Swan."


End file.
